


Alone in the light

by Bill_x_Cipher



Series: Dark & Light [2]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Actual Plot!, Anal Sex, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Hurt, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nygmobblepot, Rough Sex, built-up feelings, gobblepot, goes with original storyline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 04:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12380595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_x_Cipher/pseuds/Bill_x_Cipher
Summary: Sequel of "walk with a friend in the dark"Oswald and Jim aren't sure how to proceed their relationship, misunderstanding and mistreating each other in the process.





	Alone in the light

**Author's Note:**

> I reccomend reading "Walk with a friend in the dark" (it's just two short chapters, but lays the groundwork, also: sex)
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes - please tell me if you find something :)

  
Oswald didn't try to contact Jim himself.  
  
Soon enough he came walking in to his club again, Bullock chaperoning them so there was really not the time or place to contemplate on their future relationship.  
It was all business but at least he received a favor, which he would use one or the other way. It almost left him giggling.  
  
The next time Gordon came he was still uninvited but at least alone. Butch was with him so he needed to stop himself from the talk he somehow was reluctant to have but needed.  
  
But Jim was oblivious to this, like nothing ever happened.  
  
He wanted to get into the foxglove which really startled Oswald at first until he realized, that it was obviously for a case. But nonetheless, Gordon was cheeky, pulling him at the collar, threatening him and Butch with his gun.  
  
Oswald had given in, too confused to make his brain think properly. Jims behavior made him so angry.  
  
"You owe me a big favor, Jim.", he spat in what he thought was his threatening voice.  
  
Jim had just cocked his head back and smiled while his tongue flicked out for a moment.  
  
That was apparently the way things were at the moment. No messy meet ups, nothing.  
  
Somehow Oswald felt betrayed, used and abused. He had lost his virginity to this brute.  
  
Silly. He knew, there was no love lost between them. How could there be?

 

* * *

  
  
Jim let himself being taken by the current of life.  
  
He yearned to touch Oswald again but there was this thing with Lee, which got serious pretty soon, which didn't have the effect he thought it would have. Somehow there was still a bitter taste to it. He kept the apartment, of course, and there were still more nights spent on the street or in his lonely bed, with the memories of Oswald spread out naked on the sheets, than with her.  
  
And suddenly Barbara was back again, horribly kidnapped and abused, tensing up the whole situation even more.  
  
The war started. Falcone was in hospital and Jim knew he could prevent so much more bloodshed if he saved him. But he ran into Oswald and Butch, attempting to murder Falcone and he had once again to pretend that nothing had ever happened between them. He wished nothing had happened, it would be so much easier. It almost shocked him, that he ever had fucked with such a notorious, horrible criminal.  
  
But the situation didn't allowed personal feelings to get involved, he had to stay sharp even though cuffing Oswald and him desperately crying out his name, almost blowing the cover for any observant bystander, put a stake through his heart.  
  
Everything after happened so fast, so messy… he could just see Oswald making his escape after Fish had shot Don Maroni and then trying to save his own ass and Falcones, for the sake of Gotham.  
  
He couldn't tell if Oswald was all in for revenge when he again saved them with an act of recklessness or if he wanted to help them escape. He did run then, watching Oswald kill in cold blood and madly scrambling after Fish.  
  
That was Oswalds true face, he kept telling himself, not the one which had burned itself into his head, of Oswald splayed out on his sheets, moaning.  
He swore to never succumb to his desires once again.

 

* * *

  
Oswald was on top of the world.  
  
At least, it felt like it.  
  
It was just the top of Gotham (and not even that, more like on top of the hill of stinking, slimy, awful criminals).  
  
But it felt great. He felt great again. (Except maybe for the pain of Butchs bullet grazing his lower ribs, a wound that would leave an ugly scar, adding to all the others he already bore.)  
  
There was just this one tiny thing missing he knew he couldn't get. But knowing he couldn't made it somehow easier to bear and he almost felt like old times again when Jim Gordon came to him, asking a favor. Jim was so selfish, so unfair. He knew he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for Gordon, but this also went the other way round. If Jim could just see it that way. They were made for each other.  
  
With Selina in the room they couldn't be too open about it, but he saw the waver in Gordon when he said yes to his request without him even telling Oswald what he wanted.  
  
For Jim it could either be restored to his old job or fuck Oswalds brain out. He saw the nervous glance in the direction of the girl.  
  
But Oswald was a good judge of people, he had to be in his kind of business, so he knew Jims Job came first. And that it was probably better that way.  
"If that's what you really want."  
  
He couldn't hold himself from asking the question, knowing that Jim knew what he really was asking for.  
  
"I'm sure"  
  
Jims eyes didn't leave his.  
  
Oswald saw the determination, the unwavering message, that it was over, or at least Jim wanted it to be over. It made him angry and he decided to be bold.  
Of course he had kept watch over Gordon, out of multiple reasons.  
  
When he mentioned Lee, the new girl Jim was sleeping with, he saw a crack in Jims carefully stony facade.  
  
It was vicious, he had to admit, all the emotions oozing from both sides. It was a wonder that none of them had suffocated already.  
  
Somehow it made Oswald a little angry when Jim denied his girlfriend. So he decided to finally show Jim that he wasn't the one yielding this time. He had some favors to collect for himself.  
  
Oswald knew it would taint the police officer, doing his dirty wok, knew it would be dangerous and that made his heart clench in fear. But it was the only way. And even though Jim told him he wouldn't work for him, he knew he would, in the end.

 

Not a day later he had the money delivered by Gordon. Jim eluded his eyes as best as he could. He looked broken, shattered, remorseful. The dirty work repelled him.  
  
"Do we have a deal?", he growled in his usual low voice.  
  
"We do, we do", he answered him honestly.  
  
Jim still avoided his eyes, nodded and turned to leave the room.  
  
"Jim."  
  
Only one word to stop him in his tracks.  
  
"Please leave us alone, see that no one disturbs us.", Oswald said to Butch. The big man left, closing the doors behind him with a curious look.  
Jim turned, looking not pleased.  
  
"What?"  
  
Oswald didn't know how to begin, but he did anyway.  
  
"You see. We've… not talked about… you know…"  
  
He slowly limped to where Jim was standing, not too close but close enough.  
  
"We don't need to talk about it."  
  
His voice was threatening low, he closed in on Oswald. Now he looked him in the eye and Oswald could see nothing but loathing.  
  
"It was a mistake", he breathed, overwhelmed by emotion and meant this conversation, not the things they had done with each other. Jims eyes narrowed.  
  
"Yes, it was."  
  
Jim meant the other things.  
  
He turned, walking out the door with a bang, leaving Oswald behind, hurt and shocked.

 

* * *

  
  
Jim stared at his Wiskey.  
  
Alcohol had proved to be his one true friend for the last few weeks.  
  
Oswalds voice echoed in his head. "It was a mistake."  
  
Yes, it was, without saying, a mistake. But as much as he tried to he couldn't regret. Not sincerely anyway. Didn't wanted to regret. Even then, in the big dining room, he had wanted to just grab Oswald and kiss him, rip those fine clothes off his body, crash him into the dining table and fuck him senseless.  
  
"You okay Jim?"  
  
Lee. He was at her apartment, how could he forget. He threw her a guilty glance.  
  
"Yeah. Daydreaming."  
  
"Whats wrong?"  
  
He swirled his glass. "Nothing." Another false smile.  
  
He was a bad liar, he knew. He didn't deserve someone like Lee.  
  
He wanted Oswald.

 

* * *

  
Oswald comforted himself with unnecessary cruelty when paying the Commissioner a visit. After all, he had a favor to fulfill. He got Gordon a pretty good deal, to say so, even though he was rather angry at the cop and also himself.  
  
Jim never came by to say thanks.  
  
He was already wound up, shaking with anger on the inside when his partner, Bullock, charged in, disturbed his dinner and said some really nasty things. It almost sounded just like Jim wouldn't want to see him again. Which made him angry, angrier than ever. Everything made him angry these days.  
  
Jims neglect.  
  
His crazy threatening partner.  
  
The state Gotham was in.  
  
The anger got a grip of him.  
  
He broke into Jims apartment and sat in the dark to wait for the policeman.  
  
Hours went by.  
  
His anger cooled.  
  
Got replaced by insecurities. A dull feeling in his stomach.  
  
He startled when keys connected with the lock and Jim Gordon walked into the flat, looking beat. He didn't turn on the lights so Oswald stayed hidden for a few precious moments, watching Jim.  
  
He didn't just looked beat, he was, a still bleeding gash on his temple, his stance falling when he felt like being alone.  
  
Very slowly he loosened his tie and kicked off his boots.  
  
Oswald saw the moment Jim noticed he was not alone. The blonde man stilled for a moment, his chest expanding, a faint tremble running through his body. Oswald got up from his seat. Jim pulled his gun, whipping around and pointing it at him.  
  
"Hello old friend."  
  
It galled him that Gordon wouldn't lower his gun.  
  
"What do you want?", the slightly taller man barked.  
  
"Don't aim that thing at me", Oswald growled, getting more agitated by the second.  
  
"You're the one breaking in into my flat." Jim repelled but he put the gun away cautiously. Oswald took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm just not happy about the way we parted last time."  
  
"Well sorry pal, 'said it yourself, it was a mistake."  
  
Oswald paled. "I didn't-" He yelped but stopped himself. He was always good with words, with getting to the emotions of his counterparts, with pleading, bidding, talking. But not this time.  
  
He was lost.  
  
Even the purpose for this visit slipped his mind, it had felt brilliant to do so but now every pre-thought sentence fled his head and left back hot air. Did he come to end something that hadn't even started? Or was it something else, the deep, dark desires bubbling in his gut like hot tar.  
  
"It… was probably wrong to use you like I did", he began, softly. "I was angry."  
  
Did he really try to apologize to Jim?  
  
If he did, it didn't matter because Jims facial expression derailed and within seconds he was bent over the backrest of the sofa, his right arm twisted painfully in a death grip and his neck held in the same tight grasp.  
  
"You were angry?!"  
  
Jims hot breath grazed his ear and he felt horribly misplaced arousal.  
  
"Jim! You're hurting me!", he squeezed past his shut teeth, bucking up. He only achieved some friction between his butt and Jims front that made him hard in his pants.  
  
God, he hated himself.  
  
"Oh you're a whiney one, aren't you?", Jim growled, tightening his grip to the point Oswald moaned in pain.  
  
"You were angry? So am I, right now!"  
  
He pushed into him and Oswald could feel that Jim was hard too and he gasped in surprise.  
  
"And what are you planning to do now?", Jim hissed behind him, grinding against his backside. "Do you want to ruin my career even more? What are you even thinking? Coming to my home, coming to my workplace even! Do you realize I'm a cop working in a police station? I thought this would drive you away but you stick to me like old chewing gum on a shoe. Do you need another lesson? Cause I'll give you one for free!"  
  
He released Oswalds neck, yanking on the other mans pants, kicking his legs apart.  
  
"Jim! P-Please stop it!", Oswald squeaked and he hated himself for appearing so weak.  
  
"Oh no, I'm not done with you, you little rat!"  
  
It hurt oh so much, hearing all those things. Jim hated him, he realized now, hated him like the little pest he was and he probably deserved nothing else, he knew. But the knowledge couldn't stop the pain in his leg and arm and heart, couldn't stop his wet eyes from overflowing.  
  
"Do yourself a favor and suck."  
  
Jims fingers invaded his mouth and he did as told, sucking on them, coating them with his saliva. It occurred to him he could bite Jim them but somehting held him back.  
  
Jim pulled them out too soon just to let them sink into his bare ass, pushing and shoving and ignoring Oswalds pained pants.  
  
It was a cruel, short prep, only enough so he wouldn't tear apart when Jim coated his own dick with spit and pushed in.  
  
Oswald was still bent over the backrest of the sofa, his bad leg trembling and sending waves of pain up his spine, the right arm twisted agonizingly, his other hand sinking into the soft pillows for support when Jim started to thrust into him. It was rough. Too rough.  
  
Oswald screamed, babbled, pleaded, wailed.  
  
Jims free hand, which had held his hip in place came forward and cupped his mouth forcefully. The brunette grunted, getting even more brutal with his thrusts.  
  
Oswald went limp, it actually eased some pain and Jim took his hand away to hold him in place once again.  
  
He stifled his moans at first, not wanting to give in to his defeat but it was no use.  
  
Pain and lust. There was no difference anymore.  
  
He startled when Jims hand crept downward, gripping his length and stroking in rhythm to his thrusts. It was a forgiving gesture, something friendly in all this mess, reminding him that Jim was still a good man and Oswald came smiling, crying out Jims name.  
  
Jim followed not long after, grunting and releasing Oswalds sore arm so he could grip both sides of his narrow hips to spend himself into Oswald.  
He sank forward, breathing harsh, his hands gliding up and down Oswalds upper body like an loving embrace.  
  
After catching his breath a bit Jim carefully pulled out of Oswald and helped him into a standing position. Oswald awkwardly pulled up his pants, noticing the red marks the hard backrest had imprinted on his hips. His whole bottom half would bruise.  
  
"I need to sit", he rasped, angling his way round the sofa with the support of his arms.  
  
He half lied, half sat down, wincing and feeling all the little violations Jim had done to his body.  
  
Jim realigned himself and went into the kitchen. Oswald heard the tinkling of glass and the tap. Not soon after Jim was at his side, offering a glass of water.  
Oswald just stared at him with eyes wide open, not hiding his anger and frustration.  
  
"Sorry", Jim said dryly, obviously uncomfortable. "I was angry."  
  
Oswald slapped him, water spilled from the glass.  
  
Jim bore it stoically.  
  
"That was probably called for."  
  
Oswald took the glass from his hand and drank greedily.  
  
When he was finished he stared at Jim again, who had sat down opposite.  
  
"You really hurt me.", he complained in a low voice.  
  
Jim shrugged, but he seemed himself again, not the angry beast anymore. "Don't tell me you didn't deserve it, Oswald."  
  
He kept silent, not knowing what to say once more. Or to think of this relationship.  
  
He really wanted to go and really wanted to stay at the same time.  
  
But knowing, that feelings had no place in between them he decided to go on his own. It was better to do it this way than being hurt even more by the possibility of being sent away by Jim himself.  
  
He left the flat in silence, walking even stiffer than usual, this time no words followed him and he started to wonder if this was a bad omen.  
  


* * *

 

  
The next time he met Jim was not a good time.  
  
Galavan had kidnapped his mother and he was forced to do his bidding.  
  
Whatever Jim wanted to tell him, if it was a warning or a breaking point, he didn't know and didn't care. They parted angrily, with threats on both sides.  
He really had wanted to tell Jim why he did these things, but he was sure that Jim would look for his mother and in the process get his mother killed.  
  
Galavan had him on a leash.  
  
But he had a plan, always had a plan, even such a crazy one as this, but he would get through with it and save his mother.  
  


* * *

  
He met Jim again, there, pointing guns at each other as he tried to protect the murderer of his mother. It didn't go into his head that Gordon would accept such evil, wouldn't let him take revenge, urging him to put down his gun. He almost had him to the point to let him shoot that wretched man, real empathy in his eyes, when he himself was shot down, a bullet right through his shoulder.  
  
He had nowhere to go, with his men all dead or arrested.  
  
Oswald wanted to be with Jim, but he knew it wasn't possible. The moment he would walk through Jims door the man would arrest him, no doubt.  
It was sheer luck, that Edward Nygma found him in the forest.  
  


* * *

  
Ed pushed in the needle. It felt great.  
  
He had Penguin in his bed, wounded, injected with tranquilizer. But he had plans to rebuild him, to learn from the master.  
  
First of all he needed to get the bullet out, it seemed like the infection had already started, Oswald burned up, but Ed was skilled and it took him less than an hour to properly operate on Penguin in his bed and clean the wound, stitch it close with precision.  
  
He had already undressed Penguin before, marveling at all the wounds and scars littering the thin mans body. Eds fingers had dreamily drawn pattern around the scarred skin. It looked beautiful.  
  
When the wound was dressed he carefully clothed him in one of his pajama tops, much too large for Penguin, still adoring the pale skin, glowing even paler with all the lost blood. He couldn't stop himself from kissing the bright red scar on Oswalds lower ribcage, clearly the newest one apart from the wound in his shoulder. Penguins skin tasted of salty sweat, feral fear. It was totally to Eds taste.  
  
He refrained himself from doing more to Penguins limp body although the prospect was endearing.  
  
When the birdlike man woke again it was almost too funny how he reacted at Eds confession. Penguin really thought for a moment Ed would kill him. He nearly laughed out loud but knew better and corrected the misunderstanding.  
  
Ed felt so compassionate towards Oswald, he sat on the bed to calm the him, to tell him he had no ill intentions towards him. Oswald had fled his closeness, revealing that he was a broken man, not willing to guide him on the path of destruction and decay.  
  
He knew then it was a hard nut to crack. It was his duty to get Penguin back on the tracks.  
  
When the raven haired man passed out on his floor he again got the syringe and injected some muscle sedative. He scooped up the man, still surprised how light he was, carrying him over to the bed. His smell was mouth watering.  
  
The sedative wasn't as strong as the last one, so when he couldn't stop himself from licking Penguins neck, Oswald made a small sound at the back of his throat. He was positively out of consciousness, but still had surfacing periods. His eyelids fluttered open and he raised his hand, his slim fingers brushing clumsily over Eds face. Ed felt strongly charged up, he couldn't resist and leaned in to kiss those pale lips. The response was sluggish, slow, half drugged, but it sparked him even more. He straddled the sick man, working on his mouth, burying his hands in the already disheveled hair. He didn't feel the love he had felt for Ms. Kringle but Penguin fascinated him and he wanted to do things with him, to receive a bit of his tainted soul to make it his.  
  
Ed knew he couldn't do too much to him yet, Penguin was too weak, to spaced out right now.  
  
He rasped something and Ed stopped, stroking his chest carefully not to disturb the wound. "What did you say?", he asked softly, bringing his ear down to Penguins mouth.  
  
"Jim"  
  
It was no more than a breath. Ed grew taunt. Penguin was talking in delirium, but it sounded so much like a love confession. But there was more. It was just rambling, talking incoherently, but it almost sounded like Jim and Penguin had done things. It surprised Ed a little, but not too much to find this out. After all, Penguins crush had been so obvious when he stopped by the precinct to invite Jim Gordon in person to his then newly opened club. The rest of what Penguin tried to say he couldn't understand but there was this:  
"Galavan killed her, he killed my mother!"  
  
This was useful information and he suddenly knew how to cheer his friend up. He got off Oswald, tucking the blanket under his chin and kissing him one last time before leaving.

  
His surprise wasn't received as anticipated, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't give up so soon.  
  
Apparently Oswald didn't remember the kissing and caressing, but it was probably better this way.  
  
He tried another method, almost breaking Penguin again, but finally he made him understand himself once again. Love had made him weak and without it he was better off.  
  
Ed saw something shatter inside of Penguin but at the same time, something new emerged, something better, harder, crueler.  
  
He caught Oswalds chin after folding the knife the smaller mad had held to his throat only few moments ago. Oswald looked up to him with watery eyes, not flinching back one bit when Ed kissed him.  
  
"Let's celebrate. You're a new man!", he whispered against Penguins lips.  
  
He didn't resist when Ed led him to the bed, laid him down and straddled him once again, kissing his neck with his big mouth.  
  
"Please remind me why are we doing this again?"  
  
Penguins voice was emotionless.  
  
Ed smiley against Oswalds pale skin. "Your mother wasn't the only thing you talked about in your sleep." He bit into the soft flesh, making Oswald shudder.  
  
"I'm not in the mood!"  
  
He tried to throw off Ed violently, failing due to his still weakened condition.  
  
"Relax." Ed stroked his face tenderly. "You need to rid yourself of all those emotions. Take back control. I just want to liberate you."  
  
Oswald closed his eyes. His mind was in turmoil. Not one straight thought, but Eds big warm hands were soothing, felt good, even though he still wished it was Jim, comforting him.  
  
"Go on."  
  
It wasn't very passionately. Oswald felt like the drugs Ed had given him were still in his system (and that was probably true). Everything Ed did was meaningless yet pleasant.  
  
He let Ed do all the work, who seemed to be quite happy about it. Eds long fingers in his hole were a totally new experience, opening him up and slowly heat crept into Oswalds cheeks and body. When he was ready, Ed gently guided him into a sitting position and helped him climb Ed.  
  
"You need to take the lead, take what you want and how you want it."  
  
Oswald sat down on Eds cock, who was as big as everything was big on this peculiar man. He gasped as the head slid inside, halted for a moment, gripping Eds shoulders hard.  
  
Ed was patient, just looking at him with his weird bottomless eyes.  
  
Oswald pushed down, took the whole length inside, breathed out when he was seated on Eds lap.  
  
He felt sick.  
  
Ed noticed him being uncomfortable with the situation, leaned forward, kissed and nipped at Oswalds face and sensitive ears, whispered small things, caressing him until his mind slid back into numbness and consent.  
  
Ed encouraged him to move, his warm hands on Oswalds angular hips, pushing him softly up and down. Oswald picked up the motion, got a little faster, a little deeper.  
  
It began feeling good.  
  
Taking back control.  
  
Taking it as he wanted.  
  
But not with whom he wanted.  
  
A pang of guilt.  
  
He gritted his teeth, sinking down entirely.  
  
"Please fuck me."  
  
Ed startled first, then smiled with way too many teeth.  
  
They carefully disconnected and Ed turned Oswald onto his stomach. He crawled over him, placing his dick, once again breaching Oswalds hole, sliding in deep.  
Oswald buried his face in the crook of his arm as Ed began trusting into him.  
  
"Harder."  
  
Ed picked up speed, their bodies smacking together audibly.  
  
With him facing away from Ed, head pressed into the sheets, he could imagine Jim working behind him.  
  
He whimpered.  
  
He couldn't forget Jim.  
  
Eds head lowered to his head.  
  
"Forget him."  
  
The big man bit down on his neck and pain blossomed in Oswalds mind the same time he felt himself falling over the edge, spurting onto the blanket, pushing back into Eds violent thrusts.  
  
Ed finished not long after, pulling out and spilling hot drops all over Oswalds ass and back.  
  
Oswald was exhausted, he couldn't hold open his eyes anymore, slowly drifting into a black void, a dreamless sleep.

   
  
In the morning it all seemed like a dream and Oswald wasn't too sure it really did happen because Ed didn't make any comments on it. But his ass was sore and he felt the bitemark in the nape of his neck way too vividly.  
  
But strangely enough he felt great.  
  
The guilt he had felt was washed away.  
  
He felt liberated, just as Ed had said.  
  
He was free of Jim Gordon, free of Theo Galavan who would be imprisoned, free of all emotions.  
  
Only until Gabe showed up on Eds doorstep, telling him that Galavan had walked free.  
  


* * *

  
Half mad with thoughts of revenge he followed Galavan and discovered Jim, almost beaten to death, saving him once again.  
  
With Nygma having opened his eyes, hitting Jim wasn't too hard. He didn't need another weakness, another one to love so he cast away the feelings he harbored for Jim, they wouldn't be returned anyway.  
  
But Jim wouldn't wake up, passed out entirely, so he brought him back to Ed, knowing that he at least could use him as ally, like old times. Jim was useful, after all.  
It was easier to propose their plan to Jim and he felt that Jim sensed it too, the shifting emotions in between them, felt, that Jim didn't know how to response to that, not sure to be relieved that their realtionship-not-relationship was over, once and for all.  
  
Working on hunting Galavan down brought them together until that bitch told Jim she was pregnant. Great. Had he not ridded himself of his feelings? Why was there a stabbing feeling at his heart, so much jealousy. Pregnant? That was the last straw, the deathblow for something that actually had never been. Had never had the chance to be.  
  
She almost made Jim bailing out but it was Bullock, bringing him back (and probably the first time Oswald was really thankful to the man).  
  
They had a mission to fulfill, together.  
  


* * *

  
Killing Galavan was beautiful. He beat him while Jim watched, Jim put a bullet in his heart. It was okay. Jim had the right to do it. He was probably the only human alive he was okay with killing Galavan.  
  
For a short moment, the world was right again.

 

* * *

  
Jim went back to the car, sitting in the drivers seat, not caring about what Oswald did else to the corpse cooling on the floor.  
  
They didn't speak when Osawld settled in besides him. Jim started the engine and off they drove.  
  
Their silence stretched, not uncomfortable but heavy.  
  
It probably wasn't such a good idea to bring the criminal with him to the location Lee had texted him. He reached the park and turned off the car, sitting for a few more moments in silence, not looking at each other.  
  
Was this the moment to thank Oswald? This wasn't appropriate in any way.  
  
"Take the car", he growled instead, his voice husky and raw.  
  
There was nothing more he could say.  
  
Actually, there was - there were a myriad things he wanted to say, but he didn't.  
  
He had felt the shifting emotions, that Oswald wasn't so attached to him anymore and he didn't know how to feel about it. There were other matters to attend to.  
Jim couldn't look at Oswald so he got out off the car and found Lesley.  
  
"It's over."  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
 Just a faint smile from the woman. Whatever made him say the next words he didn't know.  
  
"Will you marry me?"  
  
Lees face went from smiling to grave.  
  
"No."  
  
No.  
  
No?  
  
His face must have revealed the many questions accumulating behind his forehead.  
  
"You're just doing this out of duty, not love.", she said, looking away, looking hurt even tough she was the one rejecting Jim.  
"But the baby-" - "There is no baby! I lied."  
  
If Jim thought her rejection had thrown him to the bottom of a pit full of despair, then now the floor broke away to a bottomless tunnel.  
"I lied to you because I figured this was the only way to protect you from yourself, to get away from Gotham. But not even that would do the trick. You always will place your self-righteous duty first. And I can't live with that. I'm sorry. Good bye, Jim."  
  
She stood up, her hand jerking like she wanted to touch him one last time, but it fell useless to her side.  
  
Jim stared at the floor as she walked away.  
  
She was right.  
  
Obviously.

 

* * *

  
  
Oswald clutched his chest. His heart burned.  
  
Why was he still feeling so strongly for that man?  
  
Jim had not even once showed true affection, always using him to his means, abusing him, hurting him, treating him like dirt.  
  
Why did he still feel for this man.  
  
He knew Jim was with Lee now.  
  
Would be with Lee forever.  
  
And there wasn't even a good bye.  
  
He bit his lip until it bleed to prevent his eyes from overflowing.  
  
His mind, always working so perfectly, was in pieces. There was no rational way to what to do next, just a dark, cold void.  
  
The sun went up, birds sang, it was, indeed, a beautiful morning.  
  
His leg agonized him. It had been a rough night. Revenge didn't feel sweet. His mother was still gone.  
  
Jim was gone.  
  
He took a deep breath. Simmering in self-pity had never moved him forward in his life, he had long ago given up to feel empathy for his sorry self.  
  
He willed himself to get out of the car, hurting all over and feeling stiff from the long ride and sitting motionless for what seemed like hours. He stretched his back and as he was about to get around the car to get into the drivers seat, when Jim emerged from the entrance of the park.  
  
He was alone.  
  
Oswalds heart rose.  
  
Jim came over, his eyes just as broken as Oswald felt.  
  
He went around the car, settling in the seat the smaller man had occupied before.  
  
Insecure, what this meant, Oswald took the drivers seat. He wanted to ask Jim what had happened but he kept his mouth shut.  
  
If Jim wanted him to drive it was now Oswalds choice where to go.  
  
Since they were already pretty much outside the city Oswald drove on, ignoring the pain in his twisted leg. Jim stared out of the window, daydreaming. It was obvious that something had happened.  
  
Soon enough they were at the cabin in the woods, the very one Don Maroni had brought him earlier this year. It was now his and his alone.  
  
Jim got out of the car.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
The first words since he had left Oswald to go to Lee. It felt like a lifetime.  
  
"A safe house.", Oswald answered just as clipped.  
  
He was to tiered to explain much about it but Gordon seemed content with that explanation and equally drained.  
  
It was cold inside. Oswald winced when he knelt down at the chimney to make fire but the warmth would do his bad leg good.  
  
"So… what happened?", he asked over his shoulder, Jim sat down with a sigh.  
  
"She left me."  
  
Oswald almost dropped the burning matchstick.  
  
He rang for words. "But- but the Baby…?"  
  
"She lied to get me away from the city."  
  
Smoke stung in Oswalds eyes.  
  
It had been a lie?  
  
It wasn't just the heat of the fire, lapping at the dry logs, that warmed his gut.  
  
He could only muse why she had told such a deep cutting lie, but it was to his luck. Jim must feel terrible.  
  
After assuring that the fire would start properly he got up, wheezing in pain.  
  
Jim looked alarmed.  
  
"It-it's just my leg."  
  
Oswald voice sounded apologetically.  
  
"Do you have painkillers?"  
  
Oswald felt the red spread on his cheeks. That was probably the most caring thing Jim had ever said to him.  
  
"No, I don't. Maybe in the bathroom with the first aid kit.", he heard himself answer.  
  
Jim got up from the leather seat and went to look for it. Beaten, Oswald sat down onto the other big leather seat, not knowing what would happen next.  
Usually he would think ten steps straight ahead, but it seemed like his brain wouldn't work properly since the moment his mother was killed. There had just been this red veil over his vision, wanting revenge. It was lifted when Galavan died, but there was no satisfaction. Just bitterness.  
  
Jim came back, a glass of water in one hand, a package of pain killers in the other. It oddly reminded Oswald of the last time Jim had brought him water and he felt the heat again.  
  
Jim popped two pills and took them for himself before handing over the package to Oswald who gratefully took three.  
  
Jim slumped in the seat opposite of him.  
  
It took a while for the pills to kick in, but when they did Oswald felt packed into cotton wool, the warmth of the fireplace seeping into his cold bones. He felt tired and so did Jim, but neither of them could or would sleep.  
  
"What now?"  
  
He wasn't sure wether he had asked himself or Jim.  
  
"I'll go back. Should have done so hours ago."  
  
"Tell them I killed Galavan.", Oswalds blurted.  
  
Jims expression was confused. "But you didn't. I shot him."  
  
A mirthless laugh escaped Oswalds mouth. "That doesn't matter. I would have killed him anyway and much more ghastlier than you did. You practically did him a mercy. Anyway, I manipulated you into assisting the murder. It's on me, entirely, I want you to know that."  
  
Jim looked like he wanted to argue but he kept his mouth shut.  
  
"And you?"  
  
It took a moment of blinking before Oswald knew what he meant.  
  
"I'm going back too. Gotham is my home. I'll look for the remnants of my empire, see what to do about it, lay low for a while."  
Jim nodded.  
  
"I shouldn't be with you.", he said, his voice very quietly.  
  
"No. But you are."  
  
Jim snorted. He slowly looked up, his unnaturally blue eyes hefted on Oswald.  
  
"Is there a bedroom in this house?"

 

  
Jim crashed Oswalds back into the bedroom door, kissing him frantically like a drowning man. Oswald, still inexperienced in that matter, tried best to hide the panic that always got a grip of him in these situations.  
  
When he was with Ed, it was nothing special at all, it had felt like an out-of-body experience, watching himself getting fucked by the big slender guy. It had neither felt too good nor very bad, Ed had been considerate and slow.  
  
But Jim grinding against him, whispering his name, his hot, callused hands all over his body, loosening his tie and vest… it set his body on fire.  
  
Him, panting Jims name over and over again spurred the cop even more.  
  
He opened the door and they stumbled in, leaving a messy track of their clothes. The bedroom was still cold as Jim shoved Oswald onto the king size bed with freshly made linen, smelling faintly of mothballs and mould.  
  
Jim tugged at his belt while Oswald threw off his shoes, thankful for the numbness the painkillers left in his bad leg.  
  
He pushed down his suit pants and underpants but left on the black socks, held by leather garters in place. Jim looked amused when he saw it.  
  
"It's cold", Oswald mumbled, ashamed, but Jim was already on him, mother naked, pinning him to the bed, grinding agains him and kissing - so much kissing. It could be easily mistook for real affection, and Oswald still didn't want to believe Jim harbored these feelings for him.  
  
Jim sucked on his pink nipples, stiff to the cold and Oswald let out a hoarse scream. There was no point in holding back, there was no one to hear them out here in the woods.  
  
"Do we have lube?", Jim panted, crawling back to shower Oswalds mouth with kisses.  
  
"Don't think so, but it didn't held you back last time." It sounded grudgingly although Oswald didn't feel very resentful at the moment.  
  
Jim actually winced at the notion.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you now", he whispered, hot breath against Oswalds lips. Oswald had to close his eyes, breathing in shakily. This was not true. This couldn't be true.  
  
Jim, kissing his face, cupping his face tenderly with his hands, caressing him like a lover.  
  
Oswald caught his hand, brought Jims fingers to his lips. "Do it anyway", he breathed, sucking on Jims fingers.  
  
Jim gasped, grinding against Oswald, looking down at him with slightly parted lips, looking as Oswald sucked on his fingers like they were his cock.  
He rubbed his lower half against Oswald, trembling in anticipation.  
  
Jim spread Oswalds legs with his knees, puling out his wet fingers to open up the smaller man. Oswald moaned and pushed into his hand, burning up from the inside. He wanted Jim like he never had wanted anything before. The lust clouded his mind and self-control.  
  
To hell with second thoughts.  
  
He needed to live this moment.  
  
His hands closed behind Jims neck, pulling him down, crushing their mouths together, kissing him until they both were breathless and flushed while Jims hand kept working on him.  
  
It was three fingers now and it chafed a bit, Oswald whined softly, but he had had worse.  
  
"Take me now, Jim!", he gasped, fingers buried in the strong mans back. "I want all of you!"  
  
Jim grunted, half mad with pleasure, pulling out his fingers, spitting on his hand to coat his dick, hard as steel.  
  
He positioned himself, carefully opening Oswalds leg, mindful of the twisted ankle. He pushed in slowly, savoringly, inch by inch, listening to Oswalds moans, his face a mask of concentration, holding himself back to not brainlessly fuck into the smaller man.  
  
Oswald felt whole once Jim was sheated fully into him.  
  
The world evaporated as Jim began to move, only leaving them and nothing else. Jims warmth, Jims kisses, Jims everything.  
  
It was pure bliss, pure desire, pure love.  
  
He almost wanted to say it, say he loved him, but instead he bit his tongue, moaned, pushed against Jims movement as it went on for what seemed like hours. Jim showered him with hot kisses, caressed his body, licked his neck and nipples. Oswalds eyes went half lidded, he brushed through Jims disarrayed hair, marveling.  
  
His heart ached, he wanted it to last forever but he felt himself getting close.  
  
Jim looked him in the eye. There was so much affection, Oswald wanted to die.  
  
"Together…"; he breathed, drawing Jim down into a hot, wet kiss.  
  
Jims hand slid between them, touching Oswalds twitching dick, almost making him come from the touch alone.  
  
He lasted two more strokes, clawing into Jims shoulders, watching the cops mouth form to an perfect O as they both reached their climax.  
  
Everything whitened out for a few blissful seconds before reality came crashing back in.  
  
Jim separated himself from Oswald carefully, breathing hard.  
  
He pulled the blanked over their sweat soaked bodies and for the first time took Oswald in his arms to hold him.  
  
Oswald snuggled up to him, blushing a bit.  
  
Their heavy lids fell close and not soon after both were asleep.

 

  
Oswald woke to the cold, feeling a warm body besides him to snuggle up against. The fire had long ago died as bright white morning light filtered through the windows.  
  
He closed his eyes again, letting his head rest against Jims naked chest.  
  
This still was too good to be true and he already knew that it would end soon.  
  
But not yet, not for another precious moments.  
  
He felt starving and sore in so many places.  
  
But the moment he got up their bubble would burst.  
  
He would be Oswald Cobblepot, the Penguin and he would be Jim Gordon, a policeman.  
  
Their very nature was the polar opposite.  
  
He knew and Jim knew.  
  
From the very beginning.  
  
They were meant for each other.  
  
But it could not be.

  
Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING - Kudos and Comments are most welcome :)  
> The end is probably a little cheesy and somehow sad - but their attraction won't die, I think... so - let's assume there's much more love in their future <3
> 
> Ah well.. I had roughly drafted and written this when I spoiled the fun myself by watching the third season... And I really thought Gobblepot would be a thing xD  
> Since Nygmobblepot is canon now the Oswald-Ed scene in this fic is a little unrealistic but it was fitting at the time I wrote it (with no knoledge of season three) so I hope you'll forgive me as I still think it's important for this fic that Oswald has no feelings towards Ed (yet)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this as much as I have <3


End file.
